One day I was driving over from the UK, back from work to my new home. I have driven the route from Portsmouth up the A3, along the M25, down the M20, through the tunnel, then from Calais through France towards Brussels, round the ring road and then up towards Leuven and then the last stretch to Aarschot. I got so used to this that I started getting the welcoming feeling as I passed Leuven. It is the kind of feeling you get when you have been away from home and the familiar landmarks begin to appear as you near the area of your youth, your upbringing. The thought occurred to me that, although I feel welcome, I have very little local knowledge of the area in which I live. Back home in Gateshead, in the UK, I know the area down to the finest details. I don't need to orientate myself because I just know where everything is. Mind you growing up in a conurbation such as Tyneside, you cannot possibly know everywhere, but I knew our territory very well. I know where to go to get things or indeed find things. In Aarschot I depend on knowing a lot less and being a little less orientated. I cannot tell you which way is North or indeed which way most cities are relative to where I am. Of course, I do know where things are relative to Aarschot on a map, but on the ground it is a different story. I can work out which direction North is by using the sun and my watch but I have never taken the time to do that.
The feeling of being at home is special, there is nowhere quite as welcoming for me as the North East of England. The accent is special and it honestly feels like everyone is part of my family when I am out and about. I could sit and listen in a bar all day just absorbing that feeling of comfort. Here in Belgium it is not that I do not fit in or I do not feel welcome, I know some fantastic people here, both friends and family and I love them dearly.
I suppose one way to look at it is that I have spent 40 years learning to express myself, be able to read and write in English and I would like to think that I can hold a decent debate given the chance. Unfortunately I am starting out somewhat behind the curve in Dutch. I am very fortunate that the people I have met are just as good in English as they are in Dutch so I don't have to have the advanced skills I need to be able to hold a complex conversation. It is not that I want to chat deeply about politics or some other technical subject it is just that I am a social animal and I like to interact!
It can be frustrating not being able to read and understand instructions in Dutch as I have a natural inclination to check things and to follow instructions, most of the time. I have to rely on An for most of this and this includes when I am not happy with someone and I wish to make my feelings clear. When I want to complain, half of me thinks can I actually get my message across and the other half thinks what is the point? Of course the way to get round this is to learn Dutch, I only have around 32 years to go before I get fully proficient and even then one must remember that as a child I absorbed a lot more information that I am probably capable of doing so now!
The other thing about home is that I spend a lot less time with my UK friends which can be quite testing. I have been used to being able to more or less drop by but over the last 10 years or so I have been less able to visit people. When I go to London I often meet up with friends and family and it is like an injection of energy. Unfortunately I know quite a few people further afield and it is quite difficult to reach them at times.
Sometimes it is difficult to imagine that An must feel as familiar with the local areas as I do when I am at home. Although she has lived away from home before, we are living in her town of birth and so she is or rather should be completely at ease with where everything is. This makes for interesting conversations when in the car looking for our destination and not knowing where we are, especially when the satnav is playing up. An often ignores the satnav, which then has a mental breakdown and then refuses to cooperate, then An will admit to being lost because the roads have in fact changed or are blocked. Roads are blocked more often than you would think. It is not just An though, I have had this in the car with her dad too, who questions the satnav and then, eventually, realises we do not know where we are. I don't have the luxury of local knowledge and therefore I depend upon the satnav, which usually knows where it is going!
Back in the UK and the North East I almost always use my satnav too, but this is because I appreciate the speed and distance information it gives me and not necessarily the directions. You do become less dependent upon signs and it is quite interesting that I will still read the road signs and yet some people either don't or they do but it does not sink in. That is my way of explaining some erratic driving. Because I have been away from the North East for the best part of 18 years, the road systems keep changing so it is as well to keep your eyes open for signage and road markings.
When I compare my home in Gateshead to my home in Aarschot, well there is no direct comparison possible. Gateshead is more dangerous from a crime point of view but then better from the aspect of choice of shopping (of any kind). Even Leuven does not offer anywhere near the range of choice, but it is a more picturesque place to shop even given the risk of being run over by pretty female students on bikes. At least I would have a smile on my face as I feel the tyres bump over my head. There are too many cars in Gateshead and simply not enough room for them and there are precious few bikes, the girls are still pretty though even if a little under-dressed.
A trip home is always a good one though!
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