This is a tale of proper planning and preparation and having the right tools for the job, in this case it was rather a half arse attempt on my part born out of previous experience that almost failed. The silver lining to this tale and the moral of the story is to have the determination and perseverance to fight through when all seems hopeless.
It all started with a cursory inspection of the rear brakes on my Jaguar X-Type. I only had the car for another week before I was due to hand it over to an auction house and pick up my new car. Unfortunately I was due to cover some considerable miles in that last week and I came to the conclusion that the rear brakes were no longer safe and needed to be replaced. I have changed brakes with my step-dad many times in my childhood and more recently on a number of cars that I have had since. The basic task is as follows:
Loosen wheelnuts
Put blocks on either side of the front wheels to stop it rolling off.
Select first gear
Release the handbrake
Jack car up
Remove wheel and place under the car in case the car should fall
Loosen the two nuts holding the brake calliper in place.
Remove worn pads
Inspect brake disc for damage/wear
lever back piston in the calliper to make room for the new pads (I will come back to this)
Take the replacement pads, apply anti squeal grease and place into calliper
Put it all back together and repeat on the other side.
Now this job really should not take more than about an hour to complete all told. It took me two days in the end as I shall now relate! Before I begin it is worth mentioning that there was a time critical factor that would come into play. I had an appointment in Germany on the Thursday and before departing I called into the car parts shop to acquire the brake pads, this is always fraught with danger as there are thousands of parts to choose from and they must be the correct ones otherwise you are Donald ducked, so to speak. In order to ensure I had the right parts I gave them my registration document which showed the vehicle identification number. I also took the opportunity to buy a couple of ratchet spanners, which would aid my removal of the callipers. I then drove to Germany and was back at a reasonable time to begin fitting the brakes in the afternoon.
I had the rear wheel off in no time and had the calliper removed and the brake pads out, then came the moment of truth, I compared the new pads to the old ones and to no great surprise, they were completely different! So came the second trip to the car parts shop where I was informed that they would have to order the parts in, thankfully they would be there by 09.00 the next day. I was not impressed but then what can you expect? In order to speed things up I unwisely decided to remove the pads from both sides of the car and then replace the wheels. So to summarise, my car was now without rear brakes and chocked up. I planned to quickly replace the brakes the following morning and then get on with some work.
The next morning I took my wife to work so I could then use her car during the day. I left it until 09.36 before going to pick up the parts. To put things into context I would be picking up the wife at 16.00 before going to the Ardennes
Having picked up the parts the next task was to whip off the wheels in turn, lever back the pistons and fit the pads. I started on one side and it quickly became apparent that the piston was not going to lever back, in fact it seemed stuck fast. This presented problems because if it was seized then it would mean obtaining a new calliper and then would involve messing about with brake hydraulics, of which I had little or no experience of, I was not chuffed. I tried removing the cap on the brake fluid reservoir in order to allow the pressure to be relieved, this did not work. I resolved to get the other side done and thus replaced the wheel and went to work on the other side. Having removed it I then came across the same problem. Now with both pistons refusing to budge it was highly likely that they both could not be seized and that it was just a case of me not being able to move them. So I felt compelled to obtain the correct tool for the job, something that I should have had from the outset but that my previous experience had demonstrated was not really necessary. I had in fact done my wife's brakes recently without any issue and she drives a Volvo V50.
Cue a trip to a different car parts shop (I was unhappy with the other one), this was my third visit to a shop. When I got there I was told that they had sold their last specialist tool the day before and could order it in. The pressure started to tell. The price was 44 euros for a hand powered tool and 88 for a hydraulic powered tool. I asked if they could recommend a shop that may have it, you got it they recommended the one I had already been to, cue the fourth trip back to the other shop!
It is worth mentioning that my Dutch and their English was not up to the task and so I had to resort to miming a few times, but it should have been obvious. So I went to the original shop where I got the brake pads and looked for the specialist tool, they had a hydraulic one but not the hand powered one. I had to show the staff what I was talking about and I asked if that was all he had, he said yes but then I may as well have asked him in Klingon and he would have still said yes. I had very little faith in what I was being told. Two key points from this visit, firstly the tool was 108 euros (and that was after a discount) and I specifically and clearly asked him if I needed anything else to operate the tool. He said no but what he should have said is 'have you got an air compressor?' The answer of course would have been no, I would discover this critical point in the not too distant future.
Once back at the car I then whipped the wheel off again (I had lost track of how many times I had jacked the car up and removed the wheels). I then read the instructions for the tool and got to the gem which said, 'and plug your air hose into the tool' The anger and frustration at this point is best left unwritten. I was starting to boil and get rather hacked off. I tried, in vain, to use the tool without the air and I succeeded in opening up the piston and effectively jamming the tool onto the calliper, at least it was not seized!
During the whole evolution I was sweating in the heat of the sun and at different stages wearing thick knee pads, gloves, shorts, t-shirt and sandals. I looked a bit of a twat really but I was not concerned with that!
Anyway cue the fifth trip to a different shop, Freetime, to procure an air compressor. After asking advice and obtaining an air hose at a cost of 28 euros and a compressor at 114 euros. I asked the sales assistant about the fittings and he said there were two sizes of fitting, large and small. I said I thought that the tool had a small fitting and that was just as well because the air compressor and air hose were both small fittings. I was wrong. I returned to the car, carefully read the instructions for the air compressor and then went to connect up all the parts. When I got to the bit where I connected the air hose to the tool I discovered that in fact the tool had the large fitting. To say that I was swearing under my breath is an understatement. Time was marching on and I was no closer to finishing the job. I should have added that I was nervous about using the compressor as it is in essence explosive being very high pressure, in reality it was simple to use as I would eventually discover. Anyway cue the sixth visit to the shops, Freetime again, to get an adaptor to connect the small to the large fittings on the tool.
At Freetime I found out that they did not have the required fitting and could not assist, in a word, bollocks. I asked if he knew anywhere that I could get such a fitting and he pointed me to the Iron shop. Now I had passed this inconspicuous place many times, noting the name but being oblivious to the Aladdin's cave of tools and bits that lay behind this deceptively innocent façade. I duly pulled in to the parking area on my seventh visit to a shop. The shop itself is full of tools and fixtures and fittings, clothing and all sorts of male DIY and professional things. I could, on any other day, spend an hour or so looking around. Not today though. The ladies behind the counter could not understand what I was asking for and I could not explain it, not without being rude as it involved male and female connectors. Anyway the short answer was to bring the air hose and the tool into the shop (at my dismay as the tool was jammed onto the calliper).
I decided to try Hubo before heading back just in case they had the fitting (eighth fruitless visit to a shop) they did not have the part I needed. So I returned to the car and managed to free the tool from the car and take both that and the air hose to the Iron shop, visit number nine. When I got there and presented the bits the ladies confidently said that they did not have the part and would have to order it. I could have screamed out for the mercy of God but I kept my composure, realising the desperation of my predicament I tried to think of an alternative. I resolved to try one last place before considering widening the scope of my search to other towns and cities. I went back to the original car parts shop for my tenth visit of the day.
Irately I explained to the lady in that shop (being watched by the bloke who had sold me the tool) that they said I did not need anything else but that in fact I needed an air compressor and that I had subsequently bought one. I now explained the issue with the adaptor and asked if they had anything that could help me. They duly produced a smaller male connector that could be screwed into the tool when you remove the other one and it cost 2.20 euros. At last I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. By the time I left the shop it was around 14.40 and I was now getting concerned about having to pick up my wife.
When I got to the car it had just started to rain, I laughed and thought bloody typical. I have worked on cars in some awful conditions so this rain was not going to prevent me from completing the job. I managed to complete the task in about 20 minutes after that and in my haste had forgotten to add the anti-squeal grease, which was to annoy fellow motorists and pedestrians as I drove by later on.
In the end I had spent approximately 350 euros on all tools and materials for the replacement of the rear brake pads. To do the front and rear plus discs and labour would have cost me 600 euros. Looking on the bright side, I now definitely have all of the tools required to do the job and I am now seeking to expand my collection of pneumatic tools!
The moral, stick with it and make sure you have the right gear before you start! The car has now been sold and is squealing its way around Peterborough now.
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