Circuits!

As I find myself struggling for breath and straining to push just one more repetition out I fleetingly wonder why I allow myself to be put through this torture week after week.  For the most part all I have in my head is the determination to physically muster the strength to keep going and the knowledge that the trial can only last for an hour at most.

The subject to which I am referring is mandatory physical training (PT) that is held every Tuesday morning between 08.30 - 09.30.  The session is led by a fully qualified and trained gorilla who is fully versed on how to drive the last vestiges of energy from your body and to ensure that muscles , which only ever get called upon in such sessions, are strained to the point of exhaustion and take upwards of a week to recover.  The Geneva convention prevents the signatories from inflicting such treatment upon captives.  It is almost like we are prisoners with the psychological gun against our head, and we endure it too.  Mutinies have begun over lesser pain and grief.  Am I overdoing it?  Well there is always a bit of exaggeration but I am being deadly serious when I say that on most occasions I cannot physically lift a cup of tea to my lips, so tired are my arms.

Normally the session begins with the dread of not knowing which particular gorilla is running the session, we more commonly call the gorilla Clubs, in reference to Club Swinger.  The Royal Navy PT branch has two crossed clubs as it's emblem, presumably from days when they used to do displays and before we moved to more technically advanced items of equipment such as the kettle bell (a cannon ball with a handle)!  Other popular names are 'tit swinger' and 'muscle bosun', for obvious reasons.  Some gorillas are more preferable than others but they are all experts at inflicting discomfort, only some do so in a polite if deceptively cunning way.  Usually Clubs has set out the gym with their instruments of torture and this generates disquiet among the victims whilst we wonder what we will be asked (told) to do and how long it will last.  Sometimes the equipment causes intrigue and sometimes we are completely wrong in anticipating the pleasure that will follow.  For some it is obvious, I mean what else can you do with a large tractor tyre other than roll it end on end?

There are in essence two types of circuit, the first is one where there is a set time for each exercise and the other is where there is a given number of repetitions that must be achieved.  I prefer the former as that means I can go all out and it does not matter how fit or unfit you are you can get maximum benefit from the workout.  If you have a set number the fit people are finished well before the not so fit and the not so fit do not get a chance to recover before moving on to the next element of the torture.

The circuits start off and end with a warm up, which is almost a pleasurable experience.  The gorilla offers motivational encouragement which is unintelligible to most but has somehow been indoctrinated into those of us who have endured this over the years.  Before we engage in the main activity we are briefed as to the number of exercises, repetitions, time frames, whether we are acting alone or in pairs, how many times through the entire circuit, whether we have any injuries or missing limbs and finally if we have any last wishes (questions).  Once ready the music is turned on and you usually begin and change exercise to the whistle blow of the tormentor.  During the circuit the evil one is heard to berate the victims as a whole, but, in this world where bullying is frowned upon, rarely does the individual get a good blast.  We hang on his every whistle blow as we fight our way through the circuit, more than most probably think he has forgotten the time or is in a bad mood as he prolongs the pain.  I think for the most part this is all in our heads but then club swingers are not known for their mathematical genius or ability to read.  In my case a pool of sweat often develops around the area where my head comes into contact with the mat or indeed the area over which my sagging head hangs over the mat.  Some people do cruise but if this comes to the attention of the tormentor, then they just add to the agony as they let the time run or think up an impromptu additional exercise that seems 'fun'.

The circuits usually finish with a decent warm down and stretching exercise, which I am sure helps but still does little to prevent the cramps and stiffness over the following days.  Maybe it is just me getting old?  Apart from the health benefits, about which I am somewhat skeptical, the greatest benefit is that it takes you out of the office and away from the pressures of the job if only for an hour.  Once you are engaged in PT, the priorities shift to very simple physical endurance and survival instincts and you share a common enemy for a while, which gives the team a sense of purpose and belonging.  In the military you face lots of trials and experiences together, which separate you out from others and generates an understanding and sense of ritual.

I value the concept but I hate circuits!

London - 6 - 9 Jun 14

We had planned a trip to London now for, well a good few months at least, we were going with An's cousin, Eric and his wife, Isabelle.  The trip really began with the planning phase where Eric, who is a bit of food connoisseur, examined a range of restaurants and pubs where he suggested would be good to visit.  It was, as usual, going to be a feat of endurance as we squeezed as much as possible from the four days we were there.

Day 1 - 6 June 14

As if somehow connected to the D-Day landings 70 years ago, the alarm clock went off at the ridiculous time 04.45, which gave us 40 minutes to get ready, load the car and get across to Eric and Isabelle's place.  The reason for such a start time was to avoid the rush hour traffic of a Friday morning and get to London with at least half a day to make use of.  If you leave our house at any later than 06.30 then you will hit traffic and we would have to drive through the busiest stretch past the airport.  The Eurotunnel was booked for an 08.20 departure so it would be tight.  The drive was uneventful and we made it to the Eurotunnel check-in in good time.  However, we had not accounted for French border checks, which were unusually stringent this particular morning.  There were only two check points open both for the French and the UK and these would have been enough had they been processing the travellers at their normal pace.  we ended up driving straight onto the train and were one of only 8 cars embarked.

On the other side we were also lucky and did not get held up at all, although I did decide to stop for coffee not long after we got across.  An recommended a MacDonald's coffee, which I was surprised at but then I did not know any better.  Apparently she had tasted a fine MacDonald's coffee in Germany and thought, quite reasonably, that the same would be available in the UK.  It was awful apparently and Eric was also unimpressed with it!  I had an Egg McMuffin meal, breakfast in a bap!

We got to the Premier Inn hotel in Ealing and had a rather bizarre encounter with the lady behind reception.  We arrived maybe around 10.00, which was way too early to check in.  The receptionist told me that I could check in early for a cost of £25, I have never come across anything like this before, so I declined.  She then said that this 'fee' was in fact a contribution to a charity they were collecting for, even stranger I thought.  Anyway we did arrange a sort of check in which did not attract a strange charity fee and I paid the bill, including the parking, accommodation and half of the breakfasts (she had misheard me and not charged me for Eric and Isabelle).  I was relieved that we were able to leave the car parked up in the secure hotel car park, I had a fear that we would not be allowed in until 14.00, not good!  We departed the hotel for our first foray into the city.

First stop was acquiring the Oyster cards for the trip.  If you go to London then this is the best way to make sure that you do not pay too much for your travel on the Underground and buses.  You buy a card leaving a £5 deposit and then you top the card up and pay as you go.  In short it will cap the costs as the cheaper of the actual trips made or the cost of a travel card for the day.  The only thing you must do is ensure that you properly scan in and out of each station otherwise you will pay the full standard price.  I give it a good rub against the sensor and wait for the beep before going through.

I was burdened by my camera, complete with excessive heavy equipment, which I would come to regret.  Our target was Camden Town Market followed by the British Museum.  I had set out in my own mind to visit two particular places at Camden Town and as for the rest I was happy to go with the flow.  You can spend so much time going around the shops and markets that less than a day seems insufficient to take it all in.  There is the usual range of clothing and shoe shops, but there are also specialist shops that have Gothic and punk clothing and paraphernalia.  There is art of varying types and also there is a range of food outlets with a huge variety or world foods that you can sample and enjoy.  Here is a handy link that gives you a better description: Camden Town Market.

My aim was to buy a pair of Dr Martin's boots and although I did not have a particular kind in mind I was determined to get a pair.  As you leave the Camden Town Underground station you turn left and come to The British Boot Company, it is easy to miss and is maybe 30 metres from the station entrance.  The shop is small but has some interesting designs.  The staff will give you the background to DM boots and the heritage of the company and brand.  There are boots that have been signed by bands, notably Madness, but there are others.  The pair I got were of a light brown swede ankle length type.  I consulted with my specialist fashion advisor to make sure they were right for me, An approved!  It was a typically male purchase, efficient, quick and to the point.  They were selected, fitted and purchased maybe in under 5 minutes.  With this additional burden to carry for the rest of the day, we left to head towards the main market.

I must warn you, and I am being utterly serious for a moment, the link I am about to share contains somewhat disturbing material.  Be prepared for a shock and genuinely I feel it is not suitable for children.  I do not normally take such a strong view of art but this is one I feel I must express.  In one of the markets there is an American artist called Jeff Michalik.  Jeff is responsible for what I can best describe as the shocking and thought provoking art he brands under Killer Bunny.  His website is KillerBunny.co.uk.  So having had a quick look at the site, you can see what I mean.

I decided to buy a bit of his work, now, this raises a number of questions.  You can take a view on the artist, the buyer and of course the art itself.  What does his art say about him?  Well, if you stand by his stall for any length of time you will hear the comments from passers by about the mental state of the artist.  Then you turn to the buyer, who in their right mind would buy something like this?  Is it something dark within or is it a curiosity?  Is it a message that I want someone to see?  I can tell you this that I am apprehensive about displaying the artwork I have bought and I have no intention of gifting it to anyone.  My view is that it is radically different and thought provoking and this is coming from someone who is not quick to appreciate the finer points of art.  People often have a morbid fascination with gruesome things and maybe there is a bit of this involved here.  Anyway, after a further peruse it was time for food!!!!

There is a wide range of foods available and it is worth having a sweep past all of the stalls and not just diving into the first one you see.  Incidentally, Eric brought my attention to Churros, which is a deep fried batter based sweet.  We both got a portion during one of our many rest periods during the wander around Camden.  However, I digress, we settled for some food in the hot afternoon sun.  I had a duck wrap with some sangria, An had a Mediterranean vegetable salad and some water, Eric and Isabelle ended up with another exotic dish, whose name escapes me and they also had a glass of cava too.

I was trying to take pictures on the move and I was messing about with a range of settings and light conditions but here is a sample from Camden:

 From Camden we decided to head off, by foot, to the British Museum.  This was not a wise idea due to the heat and distance involved but we set out regardless.  During this walk I acquired my blisters, which was to make the rest of the visit a tad uncomfortable to say the least.  I thought I had chosen sensible shoes and socks but clearly not!  I think it was the poor socks that did it but I was not sure and now it was too late.

When we arrived at the British Museum it was very busy and we were both hot and thirsty.  The Museum is definitely worth a visit but I could not help but think of whether or not some of its treasures should be back in the countries from which they have been removed.  What is impressive is the covered courtyard.  Again you need a fair bit of time to do the place justice.  I took a few photos in the museum, the first of which was the Totem pole was in the covered courtyard.

Once we had finished up there the plan was to get back and freshen up at the hotel, in my case it would involve airing and nursing my feet too!  We were staying approximately 600 metres from Ealing Broadway Underground station and the plan was to eat at Wagamama and then go to a wine bar called Crispin's.  Wagamama is a chain of Japanese restaurants, of which there is one in Antwerp.  The food is of a high standard, although the main utensils for eating are chopsticks, which require a certain level of dexterity.

We ended the evening in Crispin's and after having established which wines on the menu were not available we made our selection.  By the way we also bought some Adobe, having tried some at my Brother-in-law's place and found it to be quite nice.  Sadly the version in Crispin's was not so pleasant.  Still it was a nice way to round off our first, long, day.

Day 2 - 7 Jun 14

Day 2 started with breakfast, this was when we noticed that we had not been charged for 4, but just 2.  I tried to bring this to the attention of the staff but they were busy with the large influx of teenage One Direction fans milling about in their pyjamas and other inappropriate clothing.  We had been told the day before that the hotel had stopped serving continental breakfasts but that the all inclusive price had gone up!  When we got there we found that what we had been told was what can be technically referred to as bollocks.  There was the full range of cooked and continental that we had had before.  You could eat as much as you liked for £8.75, realistically I don't think you can eat that much so I am not sure it is value for money.  Mind you with London prices it probably is.  Breakfast was not a peaceful and pleasurable experience due to the volume of other customers and their desire to let everyone else know they were there.

As best we could, we planned our day.  Not long after, we set out.

We struck out for the far side of London towards Brick Lane.  We took the tube through from Ealing Broadway to Liverpool Street station and then walked towards Brick Lane.  There was  a route marked out on a tour map, which was supposed to take us past some points of interest.  In essence for my feet it was another feat (forgive the pun) of endurance.  My blisters would end up with blisters as I walked like I had a small Christmas tree inserted into my bottom, just far enough that it would not quite dislodge itself.  The rest of the group were not fully aware of my discomfort.  Our first real stop was Spitalfields market, where Isabelle bought a man bag for Eric, for his birthday and An and I had a cup of tea.  Spitalfields is a covered market that has some interesting, mainly fashion type stalls and it is not so well known for its food.  This was not really a planned stop as we moved on towards Brick Lane.

As we progressed to Brick Lane we came across an 'event', in essence a group of home owners had opened up five of their gardens to the public for a small fee.  Perhaps what was more interesting is that the houses dated from around the 1750s and therefore their interiors were of more interest than their gardens in some cases.  Both An and Eric are keen gardeners and thus we had a look around.  I can best describe them as peaceful and very well designed.  Considering the location and the limited space, they are places I could easily relax in and read a book.  There was also plenty of shade too.  One particular feature was a mirror that someone had placed into a wall, it looked like another garden as the mirror was the size of a door and crystal clear.  It was very effective and I only stopped when I noticed my reflection.  Again this was unplanned but then the interior of the houses was also very interesting.  The buildings are grade II listed, which means the owners require special permission to make changes.  A lot of effort is also put into keeping the exteriors authentic, even with the application of special paints.  My feet were complaining and the Christmas tree was more than irritating...

Onwards to Brick Lane!  We found it and started to walk the length of it.  The last time An and I were here we missed the Old Truman Brewery, despite the large sign and buildings.  Perhaps it was the distraction of trying to find shoe shops the last time?  An and Isabelle were doing their best not to go into every fashion boutique, although it was tough.  In the Old Truman Brewery there is the Old Boiler House, which has a range of stalls that sell what I can best describe as world foods.  It is a bit of a treat to the pallet to be able to try some of these things, but we decided to wait until lunchtime before eating.  I was genuinely not hungry so I could wait.  It is worth a visit though.  Getting back onto Brick Lane we started to carry on walking the route with the aim of eventually getting to the White Cube Gallery in Mason's Yard, sadly it was closed by the time we got there.  Anyway I am ahead of myself!  Before then we came across The Blues Kitchen where we decided to have lunch.  I was a bit cautious about having lunch here as we were due to go to the Red Fort restaurant later on and I was not sure if we could cope with the volume of food!  The Blues kitchen, apart from having nice food and probably nice music, if you hit it at the right time, also has interesting décor.  The restaurant has a theme that can be best described as auto mobile in nature.  The waiting staff are very friendly and the service is good.  An was impressed with the quality of the fries/chips and the rest of the food was also very good.

When we had finished and were suitably refreshed there was an idea to go to a pub, but by this stage we needed to get to the Box Park, which was on our list and then start to head back towards the hotel.  The idea was to refresh ourselves ready for the evening, but this would add at least an hour to the timings, to go to a pub was therefore inviting disaster...

In the end we didn't, we just got on with the forced march and found the Box Park.  In essence the box park is lots of boutique type shops that are comprised of shipping containers that have been put together and fitted out.  You are kind of limited in size but then it does make use of these containers.  One particular shop stood out,Tusch Und Egon.  I particularly liked their fire extinguishers, which you can see directly at the link.  I also bought a small rubber Clown Fish, so I could do some Finding Nemo photographs such as these:

Time was pressing and so we could not spend too long looking around here, the trek continued (the pine needles were beginning to sting a bit).

We managed to get back in good time and I contacted my mate Sam to see if he could make it into Ealing to meet up.  Sam would make a great Belgian as his timekeeping is loose to say the least.  We managed to get to Ealing by about 17.35 with the aim of starting the inbound trip to Soho at around 19.00.  After a quick squoosh and change of clothing we headed to a place called Bill's just along the road from the hotel.  Sam made it just in time for a quick drink and a brief chat, this was fortuitous as he had a few recommendations on where to go and what to do.  We took notes and consulted the map.  We left a little after 19.00, fashionably late.  I have to add that I was the acting guide for the trip and I brought along the ultra modern and technologically advanced A-Z of London, which used to belong to my Grandad I think.  I was forever checking and double checking where we were.

It was not a bad ride in but the place was heaving and it was starting to look lively.  We managed to get there pretty much on time for our 20.00 reservation.  The Red Fort is a pleasant typical Indian restaurant, apart from the excessively priced drinks menu, which is par for the course.  We chose (I was swept along) to go for the set menu.  We were presented with a range of dishes and starters which we worked our way through.  There was a degree of choice on the set menu but all said it was a great variety and the quality was also very good.  The biggest shock, and this went for all of the main restaurants that we visited, was the standard 12% service charge.  I did stress that we did not have to pay the service charge but what we thought was a suitable tip.  When you are spending upwards of £270 per meal for the four of us the service charge ends up costing almost as much as a meal in a 'normal' restaurant.  Even Eric thought that this was a bit too much.  We did the full Monty and I noted that at the end they did not have the hot towels to clean your hands and face, not so posh after all...

Just to make sure that my feet were not overly rested and the tree fully bedded in, we proceeded to try and find a Blues Bar to get some live music.  This entailed going from Soho to Carnaby Street, just a short trot.  We did find the bar and indeed another interesting place on the way, Kingly Court, this is somewhere we could have wiled away the hours and was lively.  In the end we did not go into the Blues Bar as there was a queue and we did not fancy hanging around until late.  We reluctantly headed back to the hotel for a drink there.  We made it back and settled down for a pint in the bar.  There was a football game on the TV which I think was warm up match with England playing.  I forget who the opposition was, not that it matters.  Once again it was a late finish and at last I could remove the tree and tend my feet.

Day 3 - 8 Jun 14

The hotel staff finally realised we had not paid for the additional breakfasts and so we paid for those.  I think that although her badge indicates that she speaks English, this must be pretty basic, hence the confusion over continental breakfasts not being provided, it is easier to say no that to commit to saying yes and having to go back on it later!

The third day was meant to be a trip to the Victoria and Albert and Natural History Museums, but, having discussed the options with Sam, we elected to go to Portobello Road Market.  How can I best describe this place?  Well it is a row of shops, but quite a long row and there are some interesting antique and art shops, I use these terms loosely.  The first one we came across contained lots of metal signs as an example there was one, which I did consider buying, that said "Parking for Jaguars Only"  or words to that effect.  An thought that the neighbours would not appreciate that.  There were a range of other signs.  There was a shop entirely dedicated to fittings for doors and cabinets.  If you want something special for your set of drawers then this was the place to get them.  We stopped at an antiques shop and bought a brass aeroplane for the father-in-law.  it was a decent price and he even gave a slight discount.  The shop was full of interesting articles including aircraft propellers, telescopes, old leather suitcases and trunks, pictures, brass fittings and, well, too much to list here.  Further on there was a good photo/art shop, it was good inspiration if you are a photographer.  Many of the images looked like they were taken down the street.  Oh we also passed a house where George Orwell used to live too.  The houses themselves make for an attractive setting to the market, you can feel the wealth in the area.

One of the treats was The Humming Bird Bakery.  We bought some rather nice cup cakes and a couple of drinks.  We did intend to have them there and then but Eric had patrolled ahead and we needed to catch up.  This market was more difficult for An and Isabelle to get through without some serious browsing.  Towards the end of the market we came across The Spice Shop, which you could smell before you could see.  Once you entered it was almost an orchestra of senses for the nose, it is worth it just to walk in and spend a minute of or two taking in the aromas.  Of course An and Eric took the opportunity to stock up on some of the rarer spices.  I also spotted a branch of Whittards and took the chance to show Eric and Isabelle the coffee they sell (despite being a tea shop).  The staff were extremely helpful and even made up a sample of Oolong tea, which I had never tasted before.  I asked the assistant what her favourite tea was and if we could try some.  Oolong smells very creamy and it is just slightly bitter, not as strong as regular tea and you drink it without adding milk.  I had made a discovery and I was very pleased too.  Eric had also discovered a new type of coffee, I forget the name, but he was chuffed.

It was time to get on and so we caught the tube on the way in to Oxford Circus, the next stop was going to be afternoon tea at Fortnum and Mason's.  Opulent, that is the best description I can give to Fortnum and Mason.  The staff are very friendly and when we turned up for tea they made the effort to squeeze us in and we are grateful that they did.  The staff all wear traditional uniforms and are very knowledgeable about the product.  If you have any questions that they cannot answer then they find someone who can help.  You have a choice of menus with sweet and savoury items, we elected to go for the set menu, which comprised of finger sandwiches of salmon, coronation chicken, beef, cucumber and egg (I think).  We also had scones with jam and clotted cream and then the most exquisite and rich cakes you could imagine.  It really was an experience and it did not end there.  We were offered more sandwiches, cakes and scones and if we wanted, cakes from the trolley.  I opted to have a piece of Battenberg, but  was struggling to find the room.  We did not have a second round, we just didn't need to.  It was also interesting to observe the other customers and the staff, it is another world that we had a short glimpse of.  The cost of the menu was between £40-45 each, worth it though.  The store itself is also a place to behold and is worth visiting.  We ended up buying some additional tea, in our case Russian Caravan, so named because that is how it was transported to the Tsars of Russia.

There now came a trek to the next destination, Harrods.  It was a long walk down past Green Park towards Hyde Park.  We took this route to look at some artwork that artists display by the side of the road.  We had greater expectations of this so either that day was a bad day to see it or there is not a great deal to be seen there.  It was the right weather for a beer in the park though.

I have to say I have mixed feelings about Harrods, it struck me as being a bit bling and the staff seemed disinterested and lacking in knowledge, almost shallow.  The store is of course full of luxury but I felt that the character of the décor and staff reflected the owner, not unreasonable I suppose.  The highlight, and it was a highlight, is the Halcyon gallery.  I am not an art guru or can I express a passion for it either, but I saw pieces here that I would genuinely buy, the problem is, of course, that I do not have the money for such things.  To give an example the least expensive piece was about £21,000 and the most expensive, that I saw, was £410,000.  They were nice, very nice, but I probably would not have the right sort of place to put them!

We again made the trip back to the hotel to freshen up before heading out for Rules, which is the oldest restaurant in London.  We were pushing the limits in terms of time to get there, but we made it okay.  We booked a table on-line for 20.00 and again the décor and atmosphere was something special.  The food was very traditional, especially the desserts.  I had the steamed steak and kidney pudding, An and Eric had the Lamb chops and Isabelle had fish.  The starters were equally as good, Eric and I had duck, Isabelle had herring and An had oysters.  We shared a dessert and I recommended Summer Fruit Pudding and I shared a Lemon Polenta, both were very nice.  We were stuffed and I would also recommend that you check out the toilets too, they are worth a look.  There are pictures and items of interest surrounding you, including stained glass windows.

After Rules we decided we definitely needed to go to a pub, so we headed to Covent Garden and the Punch and Judy.  Now either I had seen this in better days or someone had just had a pub fight and devastated the place.  It was a bit of a mess and in hindsight I would not go back.  We left after 1 drink and elected to go to The Harp, a recommended pub.  We got there and they helpfully told us they had stopped serving.  Homeward bound then.  There was the option of taking in a bar on the way back but I think we were all seriously flagging by then so the hotel seemed the best bet.

Day 4 - 9 Jun 14

This was always going to be a tough day for me, as the driver I would not get much rest.  The aim of the game today was to get to the Tate Modern, have a quick look around and then skidaddle back to Belgium.  I wanted to be on the road by about 15.00 and so I was keen to push along.  The trip in was not too bad but we did have to cross the Thames over the Millennium bridge.  Cue the first unusual obstacle.  We selected a route which took us towards the riverbank, the problem was it was not suitable in any sense for pedestrians and in fact it was part of a dual carriageway.  There was nowhere to cross, but that did not stop us.  We were not alone, there were several other sheep with us, bloody tourists.  We crossed the dangerous road and came to a low wall, well it was low on our side but a bit of a drop on the other side, it was like being part of a well, if inappropriately dressed, gang of kids.  Isabelle did well to maintain her dignity as she sort of got over and down off the wall.  I did try and guide them to a more manageable section but they just fancied the challenge and the prospect of a visit to casualty.

Once we had done our assault course and yes my feet were still hurting, we crossed the bridge and made it to the Tate.  Now, most will know that I am not really a fan of art unless it is truly stunning and meaningful.  An and I split off from Eric and Isabelle as we worked our way through the gallery.   An and I started at the top and I think Eric and Isa started from the bottom.  There were shedloads of kids around and some were quite young, a bit noisy but then that's kids for you.  I was perusing the fine pieces of junk on the top floor when I noticed some grills in the floor, I spent some time carefully studying them and wondering what the artist was thinking of when it dawned on me that these were ventilation grills!  Funnily enough I saw a few more of them.  To be brutally honest, how on earth can you tell?  There was a 'sculpture' which consisted of two flat plates of steel balanced one on top of the other to form a T, that was it, rusting, dangerous scrap metal.  There was another piece that was just a mirror, you, the viewer were the art!  I mean what?  How on earth does that qualify as anything?  Did he or she (I could not be bothered to check) just get up in the morning, look in the mirror before farting and think ah haaaaaaaaaa!

I did come across many other pieces of worthless art including a set of three ventilation trunks, people have been paid for this and received awards.  I have to say that I was not inspired at all, but then I am hard to please when it comes to art.  We chose not to visit the Matisse exhibition.  I did try and expand my horizons and I will continue to make the sacrifice of visiting in a bid to become a little more cultured in my outlook.  The highlight of the visit for me was waving to some kids on the first floor, I always remember it being nice when people waved back when I was a kid.  

We set off for what was to be the last trek, thankfully it was not too long.  We were aiming to find a pub called the Gladstone, which featured in the guide books.  Here we had pies and it was relatively cheap compared to where we had eaten during the week.  I had a moo pie (beef) and An and Isa had a Heidi pie (goats cheese).  Eric I think choose venison pie but I cannot remember.  We all had mushy peas, if only to see the look of disgust on An's face.  It is a real spit and sawdust pub, which was pretty basic and full of character.  Apparently they have live music and the staff were very friendly.  I recommend a visit, it is easy to miss though as it is slightly off the beaten track.

Time to make our way back to the car.  We had been allowed to leave the car at the hotel and so it was a trip back over to Ealing Broadway to get on our way.  Incidentally, we had bough the Oyster cards and we ran out of money on them, this was in part due to not swiping in and out correctly.  we had to get the cards corrected.  If you use these you really do need to make sure that the barriers record you entering and leaving.  An incomplete journey results in the maximum charge, not good.  You can check the history of the card and see where you have been.

Anyway, home!  We got to the tunnel in good time but could not catch an earlier train, the net effect was that we were held up and entertaining ourselves in the terminal building for a while.  We scoffed the Humming Bird cup cakes, which were divine.  When we did get across and started out for home it was a fairly routine drive, except that at one point all of my passengers were asleep!  We eventually made it back to Aarschot for around midnight and An and I did not get to sleep until about 01.00.  I elected to drive into work at 07.00, knowing full well the traffic delays likely.  They met all of my expectations and I took 2 hours to get into work.

I did go and see the nurse about my feet after I noticed a particularly foul smelling puss oozing from my blister.  I was a bit worried about infection but she said it was fine.

That was our trip to London.

The Somme

One of the benefits about work is that you occasionally get to do something that is a bit different, in this case we visited the battlefield site at Thiepval in France, where part of the Somme offensive was fought in July 1916.  We were taking part in a conference which had delegates coming in from around Europe to discuss the business and how we can go about improving things, part of this was a team away day, the reason we were visiting the battlefield site.

The trip involved a visit to the Memorial to the Missing, a giant brick structure that has the names of around 72,000 service personnel who are still missing.  Sadly, on a regular basis, the remains of men from the First World War are found on the sites of the old battlefields and the memorial has to be adjusted, the names removed and a full ceremonial funeral held.  During our visit we held a brief service and laid a wreath.  It is easy when walking within the monument to find your own surname engraved in huge walls, the impact cannot truly be felt in my view.

Imagine if you will, a football stadium's worth of people missing or more than twice the current strength of the Royal Navy.  It is hard to understand the impact, then you have to think that these were the husbands, boyfriends, brothers, sons and uncles of so many more people from across the world.  I have not mentioned the women or other civilians that have paid the price but not out of disrespect for them, it is just that when at the monument you tend to focus on the Army, the mud and the trenches.

Although the monument is very impressive you can find such structures all along what was the Westen Front at the time.  The Canadian monument at Vimy Ridge is also a sight to behold, as is the Menin Gate at Ypres.  If I could encourage people to do one thing in their lives it would be to pay a visit to memorials such as these, I include former concentration camps as well, even though that is from a different period.  It is so very important to understand and remember what the human race has endured and to try not to make the same mistakes again.

Returning to our visit, three of our team were told to produce a brief on subjects relevant to our visit.  They were: what were the lessons/improvements in tactics, what is the importance of discipline and how has the casualty reporting changed from what it was then to what it is now?  All of these are relevant, there are a lot of preconceived ideas about the First World War and what a slaughter it was.  I have to be honest I am not well read on the subject but I would encourage anyone who wants to find out more to question the stereotypes and seek out an alternative view.

In terms of lessons learnt a lot of this was concerning the quality and use of artillery, in the main it was the creeping barrage, whereby the soldiers advanced just behind the fall of artillery rounds.  The idea was that the enemy does not have the time to come up from the deep bunkers and man their defences before the attacking forces are on top of them.

The importance of discipline is so obvious that it almost seems odd to question it.  You need to rely and trust your team to do what is asked, part of that is having the discipline both self and imposed to keep order within the ranks.  If you can imagine the breakdown of discipline, which did occur in other armies across the Eastern and Western front, then the ability to defend or attack simply fails leaving the rest of the front vulnerable.  It is inevitable that you will get desertion, cowardice and mutiny within a force when they are put under such pressure, and I do not downplay the effects of shell shock or post traumatic stress disorder.  Discipline and leadership are needed to manage the situation and maintain order.  It is a hugely challenging leadership issue and it is too simplistically described above, suffice to say that it is still relevant today as it was then.  As a modern example you need only look to HMS Nottingham and when she hit a rock off Australia, the ship should have sunk such was the damage.  It did not because the crew, as a whole, had the discipline, trust and leadership to save the ship.  If you look up on Google for HMS Nottingham, you will see the flooding.  Just imagine an 18 year old diving into that, not knowing if the the ship will remain afloat or not, but they do it to effect a repair.  You will have some idea of the courage required and the self discipline to do the job.

In terms of casualty reporting, it was and still is of paramount importance to inform the next of kin as soon as possible and before the media does this for you.  The only difference now is that with the advent of things like Facebook and the desire of the media to report casualties, this is extremely challenging to achieve.

I return to our visit.  After the visit to the Monument to the Missing we were taken up to Thiepval Woods where we were given a tour by an Irish gentleman who, I understand, was 78 years old.  He was extremely knowledgeable about the area and the battlefield and he showed us some trench systems as he told us of events.  You certainly had the impression of what it was like to be there, although it was difficult to orientate yourself on the landscape.  The connection here was that the 36th Ulster division fought in the area and advanced to such an extent, comparatively speaking, that they created a salient, which is not great for defensive purposes.

Following the visit to the woods we then paid a visit to the Ulster Tower, which was erected to commemorate the contribution of the 36th Ulster division, it is this tower that I saw in murals in Belfast only the week before.  The tower is a peaceful and impressive monument and one that I would recommend visiting.  In fact I wish to return in order to spend a bit more time there.

The Ulster Tower

Inside the Ulster Tower

The guide mentioned a book, A Brass Hat in No Man's Land, that was written just after the end of the conflict by a Brigadier General Crozier.  The book is interesting because he describes not only the patriotic side of the conflict but is also critical of some of the leaders found in the trenches and of the business leaders profiting from the war.  He still believed that the war was both inevitable and just, but he had quite clear ideas on how it should be run.  He also talks about the excessive drinking and prostitution that was prevalent in the rear areas.  It is worth a read, if anything, to get an idea about the attitudes to the war and the experiences they had.

This blog has been written piecemeal so I apologize if it is a bit fragmented.